This is a true story.
A father once took his young son and fled the state, breaking a court issued no contact order.
He took up residence in another state hiding his location from his ex-wife and denying her any contact with her son.
After over 8 years of violent behavior, documented in numerous police reports, personal testimony and firsthand eyewitness accounts he now had unrestricted access to his child. As would be expected by his past violent abusive behaviors, the isolation he created for himself as a safe haven, his little piece of paradise in which he could spend quality time with his son, insidiously gave way to his reemerging abusive behavior.
The drinking began once again, neglect of his son occurred on a regular basis, he often partied well into the morning while his son stayed with roommates remaining awake until morning. Even this fall from his planned paradise was not the bottom. He began to beat his roommates violently in front of his child. The child would often emulate his father’s behavior by assisting - lightly hitting the victims as well.
Thankfully for the boy, Child Protective Services became involved and the child was once again returned to the mother, though no criminal charges were filed for running with the child across state lines in the first place, and no charges were filed for his assaultive behaviors.
Unfortunately for the mother, after regaining custody she moved from her original state, where she had maintained sole legal and physical custody of her child, to a small, less progressive, southern state. The father followed, and because of this state’s view of what an ideal family should be, he was awarded custody of the son, and the mother was accused of instigating the abusive behavior delivered by the father, in effect legally justifying and nullifying 8 years of prior abuse on his child, his ex-wife, several police officers, his own family members, and most sexual relationships he had subsequent to his divorce.
To blame the wife, in light of the ex-husband's documented history of violence, is no less perverse than the sexist and antiquated ways of the 1950’s when a legitimate legal argument by some attorneys in defense of a rapist was to present the woman as “asking to be raped” by wearing provocative clothes or acting “sexual” in some way.
This is a true story and a sad story.
Who was served by this court decision?
Certainly it was not the mother, nor society, and certainly not the child. In fact, it wasn’t even in the ex-husband, who’s actions were deemed within the realm of normal behavior by the court, and thus was not even offered psychological treatment which could have potentially helped him.
This is a true story except for a few details.
The abusive father was really an abusive mother.
The state the mother fled to, and was offered a legal haven and custody, was Washington State....in fact the city of Olympia.
This did not occur in the past, but in the present.
If you are offended by the way this custody case has gone, call Attorney Paul Battan at (360) 754-3901
(505 Security Building, 203 East Fourth Avenue, Olympia, Washington 98501 e-mail: Paul@paulbattan.com )
and ask why he has chosen to represent an admitted Domestic violence abuser and fight for their “right” to have full unrestricted access to their child without some sort of long term treatment?
In the meantime, boycott him until he can provide a very good answer.
Call SafePlace , the advocacy agency and confidential shelter for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault in Olympia, at (360) 786 8754 (314 Legion Way SE, Olympia, WA 98501 e-mail: safeplace@safeplaceolympia.org)
and demand that they equally represent and support abused men to the same degree, no better and no worse, as women.
Call Judy Murray,. Family Court Investigator, at (360) 709-3204 (2801 32nd Ave SW Tumwater, WA 98512 e-mail: murrayj@co.thurston.wa.us) and ask her why she has recommended placing a small child back in the hands of an untreated and chronic abuser.
This is truly not an issue of politics, religion, or feminism, but rather about affording each and every person the basic rights they deserve irrespective of gender, age, or belief system.
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