Yet it is clear that just below the surface, much of the person he once was, had indeed died.
If you read deeper within this blog you'll see that I have dealt with the bulk of an abusive marriage myself, thinking that my wife, now ex-wife, would get better and that my son would have a complete family and a loving and stable mother.
I adore my son more than life itself, and as far as I'm concerned, he's the best thing walking on the face of this earth.
Far and away, the most abuse, the most intense and chronic abuse, has come from the Thurston County Family, and Criminal, Court system.
Nietzsche wrote "That which does not kill us makes us stronger"
Apparently that overused quote can be traced back to one person, and while it may put a positive spin on misery, I think if we're honest with ourselves, we know this is not true. After all it's the smallest mosquitoes that ruin a picnic in their endless quest for blood, not the intense brief storm that can be waited out.
And so each day I die a little bit more inside, and each day I find it more difficult to justify getting out of bed in the morning knowing that the mosquitoes await.
It's bad enough being in an abusive relationship, but it's far worse to be the victim, and have the state facilitate more abuse. You can read on if you wish for more details. After all these years thinking that justice was soon coming, I am done with that illusion.
The Governor passes the buck to the legislators.
The legislators pass the buck, saying that the required laws already exist.
The victim advocates, and the family court, pass the buck by refusing to accept that a woman can be abusive.
The media passes the buck, not wanting to hear about domestic issues since they are often a quagmire, and so our local newspaper, The Olympian, goes on printing more berry pie recipes.
After all, who doesn't like berry pie?
The courts blame lawyers.
Lawyers blame the courts.
And Governor Gregoire chimes in with "consider getting a better attorney" certainly implying that justice in the State of Washington must be bought, that judicial outcomes are not based on facts, but rather money spent.
Governor, Justice is not just a luxury for the wealthy, but is a right...or should be.
I could go on and on, but you don't want to hear it, and it pains me too much to write about it.
In the end, I was once again beaten, my son starved, both by my ex-wife. In response Thurston County Superior Criminal Court threw me in jail for 194 days, refusing to look at the evidence, refusing to grant me a hearing or provide an attorney that was more than just a name on the legal record. Believe me when I tell you that it is bad enough being jailed for being a victim, but it is true psychological torture to have no sentence, to be totally ignored by the criminal court, not knowing if your case will ever be heard, if you will ever be released, as you watch even the lowest pedophile get his day in court while this right is denied to you, and only you. And so my ex-wife made good on her promise to our 8 year old son that he would see his "Daddy Rot in Jail"
Is there no real-time oversight, no checks and balances?
But in the end, it was the loss of all contact with my son that totally destroyed me.
The Governor is fully aware of this, as is the Attorney General, the Prosecutor's Office, the Superior Court Judges, along with so many more. I've personally communicated with all of them.
I had told the Governor's office that the buck stopped on her desk. Apparently I was mistaken; she seems well able to pass it back to me.
At this point, after so many years, I refuse to be gutted, killed slowly from the inside out, and be further victimized by the State of Washington in silence.
I am going to peacefully and visibly protest, and since my jail hunger strike didn't do anything but land me temporarily in the hospital, while The Olympian ran front page investigative stories exposing the best ways to pick up your dog's poop, the Governor governed, and judges judged.
Apparently I am going to have to raise the ante until the people that run this state do something for my son and I.
This is a horrible life, and it will change one way or another.
Many a parent has killed themselves over excessive government intrusion into the family. Once the government decides to "aide" a family, they seldom leave, and there appears to be no organizations with any power to prevent the government itself from being abusive. I know, I've searched.
I will not curl up in a ball and die in some dark corner, nor will I accept the government's decision to support an abusive parent and harshly punish a loving parent. I am prohibited by the acting judge from filing any motions in the family court, while at the same time I owe tens of thousands of dollars through family court orders, including an obscene order to pay for my ex-wife's attorney. They have also prohibited me from seeing my son at all.
(You may want to look at some very short, "rant-free", YouTube videos that I've posted (click here). They are protected by the constitutional right to free speech, but being critical of the court system, the judges and lawyers, there can be little doubt that my current legal and parenting position is a matter of "payback" for posting these videos).
If all goes well, and it is not lost on me that "well" is still a horrible scenario, you will find me visibly protesting the issues mentioned in this blog. But even this is not likely to move a berry pie recipe back a page in the Olympian. Having a pretty extensive background in medicine and engineering, I've hidden numerous implants within my body, each containing a different toxin. Some have treatments, others don't. One by one I will open them until someone with some true authority and objectivity looks into my case, or I finish the job the courts here are well into. There is no risk to anyone but myself. The first vial contains a pretty hefty dose of King Cobra venom (Ophiophagus hannah).
Crazy?
No, absolutely not.
Desperate to get my son and I out of our current situation of abuse after many years of dealing with a court system that readily acknowledges that I am the victim (see the videos), as do the police, and yet holds me responsible for a decade's worth of someone else's violence. How can any rational person argue their case before a court that stringently defends this logic?
It is a true crime when stereotypes trump evidence, when the supposition that a man must be an abuser is acceptable in a court of law, yes even family court. There must be an independent investigation into this case, and Commissioners Schaller and Thomas, as well as Court Investigator Judy Murray, must resign their seats on the family court if it is indeed found that they did ignore clear and unambiguous evidence of violent abuse, thus facilitating the further abuse of my son and I. My god, even my ex-wife walked into court and admitted to years of unprovoked violence and made no claim of my having been violent against her (save for the one time I did have to hit her once after breaking into my apartment, following hours of admitted stalking, and then only after trying to rip out my testicles as she knelt on our 5 year old son's chest who then couldn't breathe because of her full weight on him. This she freely admitted to in court).
I truly apologize to my family and friends, but a life abused by the courts here in Thurston County is likely worse than the most of the possible outcomes of this protest.
Though I now certainly understand why parents would kill themselves over irrational and abusive family court rulings, in the end they may no longer be tortured, but they also never see their children again.
I hope that you will support me in my peaceful protest, and be vocal about it. Call and write the media, Governor Chris Gregoire (360-902-4111), Thurston County Family Court (360-709-3620 or e-mail fjcinfo@co.thurston.wa.us ) and why not give Paul Battan, the family attorney defending violence a call (360-754-3901 or e-mail Paul@PaulBattan.com). At some point, attorneys need be held responsible for their actions.
Perhaps this protest will open up this issue to public scrutiny so that governmental abuse will no longer occur to any innocent and loving parent. This fight is for all of us, and is not an issue of gender.
Domestic abuse, child abuse, and government abuse must not be tolerated...period. Should you even have a shade of doubt that I am truly the victim, please remember that I am the one fighting to open the court files to public scrutiny (with my son's name and everybody's personal information redacted {SS#, addresses}). The family court has sealed the files from outside scrutiny.
You will also find, if you decide to read on, that I had full legal and physical custody of my son prior to my ex-wife kidnapping him from Arizona, and prior to Thurston County Family Court, because of her extensive violence.
My son needs both a father and mother, and after she finally receives successful treatment for her violence, treatment that has been blocked by the courts, she can once again have equal access to our son. This as all I've ever asked for from the courts.
If you decide to do nothing, say nothing, the, you have no right to to take issue with these courts.
Now is your chance.
And Governor, before you criticize governments overseas for human rights abuses, you may want to take a look out the palatial windows of the Governor's Mansion into your own backyard.
Respectfully,
Nyles Bauer
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